i want more hearts!

I had an exam this week and some work to be finished, next weeks will have more exams n more stuff to do, work to be judged on… to define who I am , my intelligence, my existence in society and even my future…oops, how exaggerating:)!!!

Exams will never end, there will be always exams, different forms of test r waiting each one of us, if it is not, the simple college, school, admission exam, it is life exam….

Life is an exam….

All our existence is based on exams, on tests, if u pass, u r intelligent, interesting, if u don’t u r put aside, marginalized…

Maybe we need exams; we humans need a standard to evaluate each other’s intelligence, knowledge so we have invented exams…

The problem is when we scarify our knowledge, intelligence, love of learning, for the sake of passing exams, not jus passing it but being the best one to score the highest mark…

It’s indeed abt marks, score, like a game, like a football match…

I hate when people come and ask “have u studied that chapter?”, “ohh!! It’s hard, I have no clue abt all that shit”, n surprise!!! They r the one to score the highest scores…
I hate fake "good lucks", fake "wish u the best", but isn’t all social norms??
We should wish someone good luck when s/he is about to have an exam, it’s like saying “hi, how r u?”, when u expect the answer to be “fine”, indeed u don’t care if this person is fine or not, it’s jus a standard, a norm, we have all agreed on, and we use it everyday to keep an occasional communication going …

people cheat to have good marks, even good students cheat to be the best , the number one, to conveince themselves they r better than other students, so to get the best job, the best position in society, to get married with the best man or woman, to have the best kids ..hehe..it’s all abt that word that haunt each one of us BEST, BETTER THAN….
But who has the right to define the best? The teacher, the company or let’s say society?...
But what if society is biased? Still the same standards of defining the best are available?

Honestly, I don’t care to be the best according to some norms I find contradictory and absurd… ..
My big dream is not to be the CEO of a multinational, having a jaguar car and a big house.
In getting these materialistic stuff, I will be considered the best according to some…but I don’t agree on these norms…

Even the word best disturbs me….I'm better than who??????

I think in life we have more to live for than working 17hours a day to become the CEO, I agree when some people say that in this world we need more big hearts that big brains…when people have nothing and living in a big misery, when I say this I’m not jus talking about materialistic misery but spiritual one also they need more a companionate heart than madam/miss/mister smartest, best person’s brain.

I maybe sound unrealistic, big dreamer, and some of u r maybe thinking right now, that life will give me a lot of punches to wake me up…but everyday, I ‘m more convinced that in this cruel world, we truly need more hearts than brains.

PS: I started writing this in the middle of classes, the teacher was explaining, n was nervous, waiting for the time to come to expose my presentation abt ms project….it is yet another exam….i was afraid of failure, of forgetting what I had prepared, I was so scared the work I had e done is false, I didn’t want my self esteem to be touched….GOD!
Ok, jus one thing, before finishing that post, don’t think that I am used to write down my disturbing thoughts in the middle of classes, that was the first time n I hope not the last;)